There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father was very concerned for his son’s future and thought hard about how he could explain to his son why relationships are so important and controlling his temper is a key factor in this.
After much thought his father gave him a bag full of nails and told him, “Every time you lose your temper, hammer a nail into the back of the fence.” His son did not understand but knew that his father was wise so he agreed.
On the first day that the boy received his bag of nails he ended up driving about 37 nails into the fence. Each day he learned little by little to control his temper. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all.
He was very proud of himself and went to share his good news with his father. His Father was very proud of him and offered a challenge to his son. “Why don’t you pull out a nail everyday that you are able to hold your temper?”
As there were many nails in the fence it took the boy sometime to finally remove the nails from the fence. But eventually that joyous day arrived. He was so pleased with himself and he wanted to share this with his father.
His father was so proud of his son, but he wanted him to understand that holding his temper was more than just being able to add or remove nails from a fence. He took his son’s hand and showed him all the holes that were left from the nails. “As you see my son, this fence will never be the same, the fence is scarred with holes from your temper. Think of these holes as the words you have spoken in anger, the wounds you have left in people’s lives. Words really are like weapons they leave a wound, that does not heal easily. Son, your family and friends will make you smile and encourage you to succeed, they will lend an ear, share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us. Always remember the fence before you speak words of anger.”
1. Do Not Interfere In Others’ Business Unless Asked
Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others’ affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction.
This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of Allah. Allah has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way.
All men or women act the way they do because God within them prompts them that way. There is God to look after everything. Why are you bothered? Mind your own business and you will keep your peace.
2. Forgive And Forget
This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us. We nurture grievances. This, in turn, results in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Believe in the justice of Allah and the doctrine of Destiny. Let Him judge the act of the one who insulted you. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive, Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.
3. Do Not Crave For Recognition
This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless; they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yourself in striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely and leave the rest to Allah, which is Tawakkal.
4. Do Not Be Jealous
We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know that you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody’s life is shaped by his or her previous Destiny. If you are predestined to be Rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.
5. Change Yourself According To the Environment
If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.
6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured
This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage.
Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully, thinking, “Allah wills it so, so be it.” Allah’s plans are beyond our comprehension. Believe in it and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.
7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew
This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in prayers, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind that make you restless. Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.
8. Meditate Regularly
Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it yourself. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will tend to become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by gradually increasing the period of daily mediation. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better results in less time.
9. Never Leave the Mind Vacant
An empty mind is the devil’s workshop. All evil actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social and charitable work , may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental reciting of Allah’s name.
10. Do Not Procrastinate and Never Regret
Do not waste time in protracted wondering ” Should I or shouldn’t I?” Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Always remember, Allah has His own plan, too for you. Value you time and do the things that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time.
Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Take it as the Will of Allah. You do not have the power to alter the course of Allah’s Will.
“May Allah grant you the serenity to accept what you cannot change?
Courage to change what you can, And the wisdom to understand the difference”.
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was
allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid
from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to
spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families,
their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they
had been on vacation.
Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would
pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his
world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on
the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in
arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be
seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on
the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it. In his
mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive
Days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to
find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his
sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved
next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making
sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look
at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.
It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his
deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the
She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”
The man laid back in his bed. His eyes welled up with tears
as he remembered his dear friend.
Remember: Sometimes to ease another’s pain and
discomfort, lessens your own.